WHO are you?
I am always amazed at people. I am constantly amazed at the level of individuality and uniqueness of people.
Even more interesting than the uniqueness of folks is the lack thereof.
Have you ever sat on a college campus and watched students pass by? Can you see the lack in their eyes? “Lack” you might say… they are in the prime of their life, no worries, no stress, mostly living off their school loans or even better their parents’ credit cards. But if you really take the time to look deep into their eyes, you’ll see what’s missing.
Now pull back in your perspective and look at humanity. Lack? Absolutely. But they have nice cars, nice houses, successful careers, yes … but do they know who they are? Not usually.
I have just come out of a year-long career change. I have been in inner healing for almost 20 years. For the past 5 years I have been a pastor in a denominational church. After serving in the church for the past 12 years, I started waking up dreading my job. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVED pastoring. I loved teaching and I LOVED preaching. One of the things I love most is worship. I was dreading WORSHIP!!! And suddenly I was dreading everything about my job. I began wondering what is wrong with me?!
And then I knew. I’m done. In hindsight, I realized that for several months I could feel my passion slipping. I knew I wasn’t supposed to be there anymore. And worst of all, my poor husband. What is he going to think? Who (in their right mind) walks away from a comfortable, stable salary and a job where you make your own hours and spend a lot of time just being with people? Me. For whatever reason, my heart was no longer in it.
So, I resigned. To do what? I’m not really sure. But the one thing I do know is that I will not spend my life doing what I’m not supposed to do. And I know when the passion goes, so must the job. Granted, we can’t always love everything about our job. But day after day, I don’t think we are created to live our lives doing things we don’t love. At least, that’s my truth and I’m sticking with it.
My daughter has a chalkboard on her wall and she has written on it: “Life’s too short to pay bills and die.” That’s exactly right. I believe God created us all to live passionately. I believe He has placed specific dreams in all of our hearts, and I don’t believe He would place them there just to frustrate us. So I have set my passion, desires, and energy to find out the keys to life and identity.
Jeremiah 29:11 says, “I know the plans I have for you.” That word “plan” means an “ever-evolving process.” To me, that means God has a plan specifically for me, a plan that satisfies all the desires in my heart. I don’t have to settle by living in a cookie-cutter world, looking or acting like all the other cookies!
Can you imagine? If snowflakes are individually unique and fingerprints are all different then WHY would God make His kids all the same? He is not that boring. He is the Creator. So, wouldn’t it make sense that all of His creations would be absolutely unique?! YES.
Let me try it from a different angle. I like to make art. I will paint anything. (I even let my students paint my Labrador Retriever as a testament to our art project that day.) I love to make art out of anything. Often I have made an image over and over to give for Christmas gifts or whatever. Even though I created the same image (Genesis 1:27) over and over again, every single piece of art is different. If I, just an artist, made the same image over and over, with each one different, can you imagine what the Creator would have the capacity to create?
So, I say all of that to say, WHY? Why would you want to live in somebody else’s personhood? What are you missing out on? What are you depriving the rest of us of? I can’t ever know you, if you can’t know yourself. What a waste!
One of my favorite pieces of art is a piece of pottery that I got out of the trash can. The artist threw it away and I happened to see him. So, I got it out of the trash. It retails in his gallery for over $500. I love the fact that it is a reject. If you knew my history you would know that much of my life would suggest to me that I should live as a reject. But I know my Creator and I know that He created me for a specific purpose and it’s good. Most importantly, I don’t want to miss it. I want to know the purpose and I want to live it.
So, I’m going to live. I am going to live my authentic self and see who I turn out to be.
Besides, the artist that made me and you doesn’t make junk. And He has a plan. And it’s good!
To read the next article in this series, please visit Truth Versus Lies.
You can find all the Identity Quest articles at this link.